“All I can offer is skin and bone to the greatest love I’ve ever known, but it is going to be worth it” (Jake Hamilton)
Sleep, that is what I want to do. I want to fall under the comfort of sleep, to be swept away like dirt on a carpet and thrown down the earth of no return. You see, I find that peace and laughter will be my motion down there. To be stilled in a place of rest, to be unspoken in a place of silence is a justly reward for all the noise I hear in this world. You asked me what I want, well I want to be motionless in the motion of sleep. Where all my envy has dissipated into the carelessness of the forgotten air. A place where my hate and ideologies are not felt, where peace engulfs my desires towards power. I want sleep.
Please, take me to the KING. Whisper in His ear and tell Him “a son is here to see Him”. Can you alert Him that he is filthy and smelly, that he has wallowed in the depths of sheol never managing to eat of the fruit of life? Whisper to the True One that His son is hungry and thirsty, say to Him “your son can’t even walk without holding your hand”.
A cock crows in vigilance of a new day and a babe cries attentively to draw the tender treasures of love. Both desire a sign. As the cock yearns for the light of the sun, so does the babe seek the affection of its mother. None can separate the passions of their heart, but only one can discern and adhere the will of their soul. Father, hear me when I say I am poor and needy. My desires have led my feet to the bitter gates of hades, now discern and adhere to the cry of my soul. For my soul delights in your ways. You said “a man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps”. So, Father, the cry of my heart is to love you even more, so please, I ask for you to show me the way to the fountain of your thoughts. So, I may know you, the Christ who conquered the world for me. Put me to sleep for I am ready to see the new day where you are the brightness of my sun. The day where silence rules the calamity in the air and peace breathes the breaths of joy. Hear me Father, and know that I have been against you in this world, search me and know that your name has been blasphemed by my lips. I have and will always fall short of your glory. But like the woman at the well, I was seeking and craving for things that cannot satisfy. Then I saw your Son, a saviour’s lips whispering to my heart to draw from His well. So, I ask LORD, for you to fill my cup, fill it to the brim until my cup runneth over into a springing fountain. Fill me till I burst into infinite bubbles of joy. Quench my thirst oh Holy One so I may lay at the rest of thy feet forever and ever. For I have seen and tasted the bread of heaven, I have drunk from the wine of the true vine, and I know, that you are true. Sleep, sleep is what I desire.
On earth, I walk the motions of hate, I stroll the paths of jealousy and I stalk the ways of lust. All trails have led me to the gates of death. All streets and avenues on this earth has not quenched my thirst for eternity, and all has surely not satisfied my desire for rest. For this world demands of me everything for nothing. This land dictates the ways of loyalty and prosperity, but in the end, the worms of the land are the ones who wait in line to devour my flesh. The ways of man are crooked and can never be made straight. They walk in hypocrisy and contradiction. They speak to sway and when one is swayed, they wait to slay. They hope in the hopelessness of peace, only to invent new ways to do evil. Man, in all his wisdom is but a fleeting mist of foolishness. Once known for his voice of innocence, is now cast into the abyss of ignorance and disobedience. Created, crowned and commanded to rule and subdue the earth, has now abandoned his heavenly seat only to let the things of the world dictate his glory. What a waste of breath, what a filthy image of God man has become. A mirage of lies defending truth, a painting of deception directing reality and certainly a heart of hate proclaiming love. The disgraced beings of the universe, trying to be the central majestic glory of the universe. A brute race mastering the ways of the serpent, they are led astray by the slithering tongue of power.
Only if they knew, that the invisible things created the visible, that the unseen is more valuable than the seen, that without faith it is impossible to please HIM.
Heavenly Father, I desire sleep off you. Wake me up on the great and terrible day. Open my eyes to the hope of glory, the incumbent One who holds the sceptre of the seven Spirits. Point me to the feet of the One whose throne is founded on justice and judgement, where mercy and truth go before His face. Open your gates Father and let me in, for I am poor and needy, I am hungry and thirsty. I am the deer panting the pants of weariness and I have heard you are lowly in heart. Put my soul to rest, lay my head in the bosom of your wisdom, let my hairs feel the grace of your kindness. Fill my eyes with the dews of heaven so I may cry unto you in repentance. Lead me Father to your Son, for the hosts of heaven call Him Faithful and True, the Kings of the earth fear his name as even the water blushes at His sweet honeying voice. Tell Him “I am your son”. Give my name to Him so I may be under His Lordship. For only the Father knows the Son and only the Son knows the Father. So, please Abba, direct your Son to me so I can call Him a friend. For only my friend can tell me of His Father. Set me into the timeless time of a motionless sleep, where I am filled with the eternal timelessness of your time. Salvation belongs to the LORD for it is appointed for man to die once, after that judgement. I surrender it all to you, withholding nothing for in nakedness I arrived. Now, shut my eyes in the innocence of nakedness, where your righteousness and peace are the garments of my members. Here Father, have it all, I give myself away, now blow this mist away for rest is all I desire.